Polite Conversations w/ Nobs.

She: Nobs, why do they actually call you Nobs?

Nobs: my knuckles are big. super big. there is a long story behind the
spelling but i wont get into that. my phalanges are diesel


She: What's a typical Nobby day?

Nobs:look for a job. make some music. eat chickens. basically things that
make me happy.


She: Are you voting this year? What candidate catches your eye? Or you
just don't give a fuck? And why?

Nobs: yes. is it cliche to say Obama? i think the dude is personable. i
would somewhat trust him as a leader. i am not a Republican so McCain
is out and Hillary is an evil bitchwoman. no offense to you
Hillymotherfuckers.


She: How would you describe yourself?

Nobs: nutcase. anxious. too anxious. i get excited easily. sometimes i jump
the gun. i love spring weather and the smell of freshly mowed grass.


She: And why would you call yourself obscure?

Nobs: i am obscure? whoa. am i a painting? do you want to buy me?


She: Let's talk about girls. What do you have to say about us?

Nobs: i love women. but they make me angry. i guess i just don't understand
them. i meet them. i fight with them. it is a love/hate thing. i
don't think i will ever get married. divorce is bad.


She: You live out in Monroe, NY. What's it like out there? A
different world, LOL.

Nobs: Monroe is like Newark, NJ. except less people and instead of car theft its DWI.


She: When you come to Jersey, how would you describe it to tourists?

Nobs: lovely toll roads. amazing shopping malls. smelly cold beach. Atlantic
City take my money.


She: What's your favorite/worst thing about Jersey?

Nobs: cheaper gas than NY. shortcut into Manhattan. the smell of Egg Harbor
Inlet. and yellow license plates piss me off.


She: What curse word do you live by?

Nobs: i have been told i say fuck all the time. i dont fucking see it.


She: What's your take on religion?

Nobs: i will take on religion. with a baseball bat. swing swing swing and
chop chop chop its the Slaughtahouse.


She: Smooth or creamy peanut butter?

Nobs: definitely smooth.


She: What do you think about Chainsaws and Jelly?

Nobs: better than peanut butter and jelly. not as good as peanut butter and bananas.


She: What would you say about the chick, Sheena She?

Nobs: i would say "where you been the last 6 months?"


She: Got any vices?

Nobs: bacon.


She: Pound to you Nobs, thanks for doing this interview. What would
Nobs say next?

Nobs: end scene.